I can’t tell North from East, or South from West. (Or why my blog subtitle is what it is.)

OH GOD SORRY I AM SO BAD AT THIS SOMETIMES. 

I wrote this next one like, a month ago. Shockingly, we no longer have snow here in Buffalo, but I’m sure it’ll be back at least once more before Spring truly hits. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this regardless. I swear there will be more posts soon. I have like, three of them half-written.

—–

It’s no secret to anyone who has ever driven with me that I have absolutely no sense of direction. Seriously. Not even a little bit. Unless we’re on the gridlocked lines of Manhattan, East is South and West is East and North is… also South. The point is, I don’t know where I’m going. I learn the routes I use all the time, and received a very useful GPS three winters ago for special trips.

(And truth be told, the GPS isn’t fool proof either, but more on that later maybe.)

One time coming home from Toronto, I drove halfway to Michigan. I’m not even kidding you.

That’s why I don’t really like driving. Especially not in bad weather. But we live in Buffalo and since the public transit system here is pretty shitty, I don’t have much of a choice. Unfortunately, that means I get stuck in some unfortunate situations. Like when they close down part of the 290 and, since it doesn’t get posted on twitter, I don’t know about it until it’s too late to take the route I’ve planned to be my alternate in these situations.

I had to get off at an exit I’ve never taken before to avoid paying the toll to cross the Grand Island bridges because I had exactly 21¢ in my cup holder. Which, surprise, isn’t enough for the toll. Oddly calm as I decided on a random direction to turn, I soon panicked. I thought maybe I’d figure it out once I started going, but all around there was nothing but trees. And snow. Naturally. Eventually I was in hysterics when, after six missed calls, my mother finally answered her phone. I tried to explain where I was but trees! Everywhere, trees! Luckily, one of her coworkers lives in the area and she tried to help me find my way to a street I knew.

Oh, but I got lost on the way there too. And then I got stuck behind a train. Finally I found a familiar road and made my way home. The normally fifteen-minute drive turned into over forty. Furthermore, did I mention how I was doing this under the influence of flu meds? Yeah. I was. So that’s how I got lost on my way home this week.

I can’t wait to move to Manhattan so I never have to deal with this again.

(Oh, and I lied in the title for this post. The real reason that it’s my subtitle is because I absolutely adore Gilmore Girls. But this story is pretty relevant too.)

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